I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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