Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
