He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
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