I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
