i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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