Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
