I puked a lego.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
