i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
