So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize