writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
