I heard we made out
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize