lets start a swedish sibling band together
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize