Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
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Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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