I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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