if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Randomize
