matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
