he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
