does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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