I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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