I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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