; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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