There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
