non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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