I hope mine doesn't look like that
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
