yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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