just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
