But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
