Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
