he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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