looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The feeling are messing with the penis
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
