ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
