Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
