She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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