I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
