The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
