thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
