your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
