Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize