Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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