hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
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I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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