Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
