she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Damn victory sex feels great
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
