You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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