I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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