i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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