last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
