Old men and throwing up are my life now.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
