we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
