We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
