saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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