I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
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There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
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And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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