Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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