I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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