that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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