4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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