just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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