if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
