Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
