Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
