Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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