Soap is not a condiment
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize