There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Quick, to the slutcave!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
