I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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