It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
