I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
