hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
