So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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