I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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